Auntie Nora’s Secret

I followed him into the woods…

No time to post anything today and Auntie Nora is bursting with a secret, so I’m turning the post over to her today.

Just keep an eye on her for me, won’t you? Make sure she doesn’t get up to any mischief. Feed her lots of tea and she’ll be fine. I’ll be back tomorrow…..


Come in, come in. The tea’s made, I’ve only got to pour.  It’s brewed, probably over brewed if the truth be known, but I like it good and strong and you’ll need it strong you when you hear what I have to say. You can always add a bit of extra milk, and you’ll never know. You won’t have any? Well, if you’re sure. You don’t mind if I do, do you? Only I’m gasping. Been waiting for you, you see. Now – where do I begin.

I’m never quite sure, quite certain if it’s a good idea to talk about these things. Whether one should keep quiet or speak out. I mean, you never know how people will react, do you? I told Letty Bakewell her husband was having that affair and she hasn’t spoken to me since. It wasn’t my fault it wasn’t true, was it? I mean, how was I to know he’d taken up chiropody and was only seeing to that girl’s feet. I was convinced he was seeing other bits of her as well, that’s all, and I felt it my duty as a good friend to tell her what was going on. She thought I was interfering, which I suppose I was in a way, but I meant it for the best. There was no need for her to say what she did. Ungrateful, I call it.

Still, we’re good friends, aren’t we? Bit of a risk, I know, but there you are. Sure you won’t have a cuppa? Coffee then? Well, you’ve been warned. So here goes.

Your husband is an extra terrestrial.

No, don’t laugh. I’m not trying to be funny. He’s an Alien. A Being from another planet. I know. It’s a shock isn’t it? Now, there’s no call to go and get hysterical or anything, after all he’s still the same man you married, isn’t he? Well, the same alien, anyway. I just thought you ought to be aware of what it is you’re dealing with.

I mean, you’ve got children and so on, and you never know what may happen if you don’t tell them about their roots. Important these days, roots. Everybody’s always on about their Cultural heritage and all that. I’ve read about it in the papers. Children get peculiar if they don’t know where they’ve come from. Mind you, in this case, they might get peculiar if they do know.

‘Course, I don’t know exactly where they do come from. I’ve seen him out of an evening, communing with the stars, and – I’m sorry, but it’s got to be said – I’ve seen his thingy – you know, his retractor beam up to his space ship. He put it away when he knew I was watching, but not before I’d got a good look. A good big one it was, most impressive.

I haven’t told anyone else. I thought about confiding in our Adrian, him being into those OFU’s and things, but he never could keep a secret. Bit of a gossip, our Adrian, and I didn’t think it would be something you’d want the whole world knowing. I had to tell someone though, else I’d have burst and then I thought, well, the obvious thing is to tell you.

Well, there’s no call to be like that. It isn’t that funny. Bye-bye then. Good-bye.

Well, I never. Didn’t expect that reaction. Obviously she already knew.




12 responses to “Auntie Nora’s Secret

  1. Clever girl, Missy P.
    Well done!

  2. i think you’re very clever

  3. Auntie Nora is the type of woman they would have happily burnt at the stake long ago.
    Shhh! Don’t tell her I said so! 😉

  4. Great read!

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